Annie's Story

“COURAGE is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don’t have the STRENGTH.”

My name is Anne and I am the face of “ANNIE’S ARMY.”  

My life led me on a journey in 2018 that tested my faith, my resolve and most importantly my view of purpose. A diagnosis of cancer is devastating! My diagnosis was colon cancer, and I wasn’t even fifty years old.  Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong? Spin and repeat was the fog in my mind, but I was so stricken with this illness that it was satisfying to finally know why I was sick; I finally had that dreadful diagnosis. My first surgery was difficult but more so shocking for what was supposed to be a four-centimeter sized tumor ended up being a hidden twelve-pound mass that led to the loss of my bladder and much of my colon. Recovery and this new way of life with not only a colostomy bag but a urostomy bag was going to be my new normal. “When the wind does not blow your way, adjust your sails”. Twelve rounds of chemo, using a wheelchair and cane for assistance and simply feeling like my world went dark was just a taste of my despair, but something so deep inside me kept me pushing through; sometimes you just have to “keep on keeping on”.   “And the moon said to me, my darling you do not have to be a whole moon to still shine.”  

Life began to shine indeed, I was a SURVIVOR, I kicked cancer’s ass with the support of my family, friends, and medical team. Everything was worthwhile again, my appreciation for the “little things” began to matter. Sunshine felt a bit warmer, smiles shared brought me joy and cancer made me realize that it had a word I overlooked-CANcer led me to know that the word CAN helps define me, not cancer itself. I CAN live the most amazing life, so I began to do so because I knew that I CAN. 

“You beat Cancer by how you live, why you live and in the matter in which you live.” Being a cancer survivor is an amazing title, however even us survivors can have those visits with setbacks and in 2020 I had that dreaded visitor rise again-my colon cancer had now spread in my lymph node. The tiniest amount of a cell invaded my lymph node. Here we go again, so many why questions just like the spin and repeat I xperienced in 2018. More surgery, more chemo, a shaved head and just more of this battle. I know that there are days I am a warrior, there are days I am a bit of a mess, and days I am both but all these days I am ME, standing, fighting, and trying. I love the woman I have become due to this journey because I fought to become her. I have learned it is ok to be tired, but it is not ok to quit. “When you’ve exhausted all possibilities, remember this: you haven’t.”